We're Only Human

Humans are curious creatures, by nature we tend to dabble in serious bouts of casual observation. Speaking from a regulars point of view, I have to say, observing human activity is not pretty, it’s shocking and frightening at the best of times. Could we really be such creatures of habit I often ask myself.

My casual observations on the bus home in recent months have led to a startling conclusion. I share my breathing space with dirty rotten criminals! Some may not be shocked at this finding, but I like to believe the grass is greener where I live.

Our suspects: one male and female, some would say they are coupled, I would agree. Let’s say they are in their mid thirties, at the peak of life some might say, I prefer to think they are edging closer to the ever burgeoning mid-life crisis. This ‘couple’ look normal enough, with their plain sweats and simple haircuts, just another Joe and Jill on these weathered streets. Upon observing their seemingly simple life I have noticed something that isn’t quite right. I like to refer to this couple as the ‘box carriers’. On several occasions they have been spotted on the bus, box in arms. Huggies nappies boxes, vacuum cleaner boxes, DVD player boxes. Time and time again, the same boxes, surely they are not shopping addicts, do they have no air of extravagance? I mean really Huggies nappies? This may not seem out rightly abnormal but one must wonder what’s inside those boxes. Unless this pair possess super human strength I can rest assured those boxes do not contain what their exterior claims. The boxes are not filled with DVD players or vacuum cleaners or nappies but something much more sinister, lollipops! The boxes are full of lollipops, and like saviours of the valley the couple go out and feed kids in need. I ruled this out quickly however, their constant bickering led me to believe kids would be afraid of these people, and that their good deed would go unnoticed.

As a regular casual observer of this quirky duo I was willing to forego such discrepancies in their behaviour and give them one more shot at proving to me they weren’t what I first thought, dirty rotten crooks. That was until today. Criminals my suspicious mind screamed! On they strut, no boxes today, maybe the rain washed them away. This was not what caught my eye though. The woman was wearing a black beanie. This was my neon sign moment, my light bulb above the head moment. CRIMINALS! Their shifty eyes, constantly averting contact with us ‘regulars’. I watched them from my perch, secretly noting and ticking boxes in my head. Black beanie: tick. Shifty eyes: tick. Just as I thought I quietly muttered. Practicing indiscreetness I had to contain my excitement at my finding, I certainly don’t want to end up on their hit list a few years down the track. I can’t die, I’ve never been to the moon!

Today their plan came unstuck, lazy and foolish in their approach this casual observer zoomed in on this criminal pair.

Let this be a warning for all you suspect people out there, this blogger is watching you.