All The Lies That You've Been Living In

I woke up and saw Christmas in my eyes. It happens like this every night, or is it morning? I’m never really sure which. They say green is the colour of envy, but I don’t believe it. At least, not this green that stares back at me. This green is a mix of endless sky and the changing fallen leaf. But it’s the red that always stands out the most and I no longer see Christmas. I see an old man in the bar at 1am, he’s on his fifth. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it doesn’t take him much these days.

There are no windows and the dark, warm silence provides refuge for the fitful hours I spend between sleep. But it’s not enough to keep me there. I go to you, I stumble. I am that drunken old man, fumbling in the dark, grasping for something tangible, something real. I ask you the time, because I haven’t been counting tonight. You tell me that time doesn’t matter while you’re asleep and while you’re meant to be asleep.

I guess that’s the thing you don’t understand, I can’t sleep. These truths that I’ve been hiding from you – they are becoming real in your dreams and I stay awake in a sweat every night, waiting for it to all unravel. If I empty my mind into yours then maybe this will wash away the black stains on the walls. However, it is this darkness that comforts me, because you cannot see my eyes, you cannot see all that I’ve been keeping from you.