The Fabric's Wearing Through And It's Wearing Me Out

It has been brought to my attention recently that ALL of my socks have holes in them, some holes are the size of golf balls, others have thinning fabric that will inevitably lead to a hole. Some might say that the holes in my socks are the result of my excessive sliding down the hallway, these people are fools. I've taken a more complex approach to this mystery.

I have come up with two possible theories:

1. My draw is housing a family of invisible moths that only eat socks and nothing else, they don't mind which colour they love them all. Although black seems to be a favourite. I'd take a stab and say they are lonely moths.



2. My other theory is that my soul is trying to escape through my feet.
   

Now I'm no detective but i believe something odd is going on here..